Learning with Kindness

Children can learn with kindness and don't need beatings to make them bend to your will. I wish I could find all those people who hurt children and teach them there are alternatives that take work but their children deserve the effort. What if they don't listen? I fear that the anger in my heart towards those who hit the defenseless is hard to control. I know there is a balance and I need to fight anger with kindness but I have too many memories of my brother and I suffering under the physical torture that adults called "discipline". I know with ever fiber of my being that hitting a child is wrong and at least I can practice this kindness with my own children.

My Aching Knee

The other day I started yoga classes with a person I know from my son's school. She started teaching after working hard to train to become a yoga teacher and I think it's important to support our local community and new teachers. My knee was aching before I started and is still feeling tender. I'm hoping that I can keep moving in a positive direction with my fitness and health so that I can live my dream of hiking and spending more time outdoors.

If I had one dream it would be to live the ultimate dirtbag lifestyle of backpacking and living outdoors with the family. The catch is we don't have the money it takes to be conquistadors of the useless so how do we finance such a lifestyle?

I've been praying to the universe for direction and so far I've had two heavily symbolic night dreams that stand out. In one dream I was on a thru-hike with my family and we were at a junction in Northern California having food in a diner. I woke up from this dream feeling so hopeful and full of energy. I've also had two vivid and joyful dreams of being pregnant that were only hampered by my internal fear of not having enough money to have the baby. In my most recent dream I was pregnant with twin girls and I could feel them moving around in my belly and I was amazed when I could see the outline of a foot pressing against me. I showed my husband and he was also really excited. Being pregnant in dreams often symbolize the creation of a new idea or it can mean that something that I've been planning or thinking about is close to materializing in the waking world. Twins often represent different polarities in the psyche. I still need to meditate on this to understand the symbology in this dream. It's clear my fears are largely based on the finances of making the dream come alive.

I will keep my faith in the universe and myself that I will be able to make my dreams come true. I will also work hard to not let my aches and pains get me down and keep moving forward.

Friends Inspire

I've been thinking about friendship and what it means. I will turn 39 this year and at this point in my life I know of two people who would call me a friend and none who would call me at all. It's so hard to make friends at this age. Sometimes it feels like everyone my age is wrapped up in their children and current social groups. I love my family but I miss having a good friend. I really felt alone when I had to venture to our local mall to find some new undergarments. I felt so isolated and needed someone to take the sting out of being older and not so fashionable. Friends can help you put the world into perspective, make you laugh, care about what you say, inspire you to dream and help you hide the body if necessary. I've tried to make friends with he parents that I've known for the last six years but again I find that small talk is the only thing that ever happens. I will keep hope alive that friendship will still happen but for now I must slay the mall dragons alone.